


Semper Fi Or Die

by Sintharius



Series: Pumpkin Head And Zombie Dad [5]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:02:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8314900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sintharius/pseuds/Sintharius
Summary: Thoughts and longings of one that could never be again, and a promise for the future.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [W4nderingStar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/W4nderingStar/gifts).



> Title came from Crysis 2.
> 
> Takes place during Rothenburg, during and briefly after Hold Me.
> 
> My first attempt at a introspection fic.
> 
> For W4nderingStar, whose fics are part of my guilty pleasure XD
> 
> Special thanks to Ecchima for correcting the French line!

_Halloween night, Watchpoint: Gibraltar_

Widowmaker is perched on a building directly looking at Watchpoint: Gibraltar.

Why she is here, she doesn’t know. Just that something in her mind compelled her to go – even without a mission – and see the party taking place within the building she’s looking at now. She even came without her rifle, the only piece of equipment being the recon visor on her head.

Nostalgia, perhaps.

The party is held in a room that was completely hidden from any possible sniper line of sight – a good precaution - so Amélie activated her visor, letting it shrouds the people inside into red silhouettes as it slid closed over her eyes.

A Halloween party. The new Overwatch is holding a Halloween party.

Something stirred inside Amélie’s mind, tugging at the strings of her long-cold heart.

She never mentioned this to her Talon handlers, but their grip on her is failing. The conditioning that created Widowmaker has spared her memories, but without the emotions to feel them they are just meaningless things.

But now… She is starting to _feel_. The old Amélie. Her career as a ballet dancer. Overwatch. _Gérard_.

_Je suis désolé, Amélie. Je n'ai rien pu faire pour toi._

_That was the last thing she heard from Gérard right before she pulled a trigger to his head._

And she has no idea what to do with it.

After all, the human brain is a complex thing, and reconditioning could only go so far.

A bubbly voice drifted out of the walls of the Watchpoint, accompanied by the shadow of a petite woman. It tugged at a memory, dragged it from the cold grips of Widowmaker and into the warm hands of Amélie.

It was Lena. The young, idealistic pilot that Amélie was friends with. Wild brunette hair, orange aviators, bright smile, endless energy. She had stuck up a friendship with the French ballet dancer on their first meeting – Gérard had been the one to introduce them on an Overwatch outing.

_Nice to meet you, Madame Lacroix! I’m Lena Oxton!_

_Please, call me Amélie. Enchanté._

The brainwashing had stripped that away along with everything else that made up Amélie Lacroix.

On the day of their encounter at King’s Row, Widowmaker had felt nothing but an empty coldness for Lena, and a grim satisfaction as her bullet pierced Mondatta.

_Why did you do this?_

_Adieu, chérie._

Talon had ordered her reconditioned that night when she returned, out of fear that Lena’s presence might have undone their work.

_Be loyal to us, otherwise death is the only option._

_Semper fi or die._

Amélie has no intentions of dying. Nor does Widowmaker. She had personally eliminated one too many Talon defectors to go down like that.

The Widowmaker - the cool, calm, collected assassin - turns it around in her head. No, she will leave… when it is safe to do so. Until then she would wait, play Talon’s good little puppet a bit longer.

It still leaves the question: Where would she go? Freelancing would be dangerous with Talon hunting her, and not many criminal organizations would have the strength to resist Talon. Overwatch... no. She had committed so many crimes against them, they would probably shoot her dead on sight.

But it can wait. For now, she would have this to herself, as she watches the party goes on inside the walls of Watchpoint: Gibraltar.

***

Widowmaker has been sitting on the roof for hours when she noticed something.

The party was done, and the gathered Overwatch agents are turning in for the night. But that was not the most interesting part.

Her eyes were drawn to the silhouettes of two men, moving in a room on the second floor. Music drifting out of the open window suggested that they are dancing.

 _Hold me, just hold me please don’t ask me where I come from_  
_Oh what I cry these tears_  
_Just hold me, hold me please_

She closes her eyes.

Amélie was a ballet dancer, but sometimes she would dance in the kitchen with Gérard, some sort of cake baking in the oven and a French ballad playing on his phone. They would share a slice of cake or a cookie together, Gérard laughing as Amélie put icing on his nose.

A tear rolled down from the corner of her eye.

Something felt like jealousy bubbled in the back of her mind, and she welcomed it as she watches the two men dancing to the music, lost in the feel of each other.

It was something she could never have again.

***

Widowmaker was getting ready to leave when she _felt_ it.

The chilling cold of the dead. The feeling of _nothingness_ that was familiar to her.

Her battle instincts – drilled into her by Talon – screamed. _Reaper is here leave now get out of here_

Another part – Amélie, she realized – countered. _Gabriel is a friend he won’t hurt us_

Widowmaker does nothing.

Reaper – no, Gabriel – materialized in front of her in a cloud of black smoke. He was in a hoodie and sweatpants, shotguns nowhere in sight. He looked nothing like the terrorist that had tried to rob a museum with her, or the mercenary that Talon favored before he had turned and joined up with the new Overwatch.

Being in Overwatch must have tamed him. Most likely because of that old soldier they called Soldier: 76.

Jealousy clawed at the back of her mind. Why did he manage to have a happy ending while she did not?

Her yellow eyes met his crimson red. She had retracted the visor when she decided to leave, seeing nothing of interest to her anymore.

“Amélie.”

“Gabriel.”

“What are you doing here?” She raised her hands in front of her, trying to show Gabriel that she was unarmed. Gabriel crossed his arms, unimpressed.

“How long have you known I’m up here?”

“Since the moment you arrived. I could sense you from there, y’know.”

She was not surprised. It is hard to hide from Gabriel, especially when said person is a soul-eating wraith with the ability to sense life force and decades of military training.

Gabriel shrugged. “I thought you were taking the opportunity to snipe us, even though the room had no clear shot. But you were sitting still for hours and doing nothing… and now you’re unarmed, so it got me curious.”

Widowmaker is silent. How does she explain this… change… to Gabriel? Would he even believe her?

She settled on a half truth. “I just wanted to watch.”

That got her a reaction from him – a twitch of one dark eyebrow. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been …feeling… things, recently.”

Gabriel was silent, but his posture relaxed. Widowmaker decided to continue.

“All these feelings… I don’t know what to do with them. Some days I don’t feel like Widowmaker, not the weapon I should be.”

It was easy to be detached as Widowmaker. Now, in front of Gabriel, she is being Amélie again - it's like a dam had broke inside of her, letting out emotions long suppressed.

“Amélie…”

“Talon is going to recondition me if they find out, and it’s only a matter of time before they do. I don’t… I don’t want to lose this...whatever this is.” She was on the verge of crying now, and a corner of her mind recognized the emotion – fear. Another thing she has not felt in a long time. “What should I do? I don’t know what to do, Gabriel.”

Normally Widowmaker does not like showing weaknesses in front of other people, but here, alone with Gabriel, she felt... safe. She managed not to cry, but just almost.

A brief silence passed before Widowmaker found herself being hugged. Gabriel is warm, and the smell of pumpkin spice and freshly baked bread tickled her nose. She fought the urge to bury her face into his shoulder, instead settling on looking at something behind his head.

Distantly, she wonders if this is how Soldier: 76 feels when Reaper holds him. 

Her battle instincts raged at her for breaking down in front of him - _a traitor of Talon, it whispered_ \- but she silenced it.

“You can join Overwatch. It might take some convincing, but Mercy can help with breaking the conditioning… and whatever Talon did to you, Amélie.”

“Would they even accept me?”

_Would they see me as Amélie Lacroix, ballet dancer and friend of Overwatch, or would they see only the cold blooded assassin known as Widowmaker? The one that killed their friends and family?_

“I can’t promise it will be easy, Amélie. Join us and we will see through it together.”

She pushed herself away from Gabriel with some difficulty.

“I… I have to return to Talon. Wait for a chance to get away. If I leave now they are going to hunt you all down.” In her mind she has already started planning – what is the best way to get away, when, where, how would she get to Overwatch afterwards. “I will let you know once I am safe.”

“All right. Try to lay low, Amélie. We are coming for you.”

Widowmaker turns to leave. Before she grapples away however, she turned back to Gabriel for the last time.

“I know I have never said this in all the time we work together, but… thank you, Gabriel.”

And with that, she departs.

She has a goal, and a place. Now all she need is a plan - and time.

It feels... liberating.

For the first time in many years, Widowmaker feels hope.

***

Gabriel tracked Amélie’s fading silhouette as she disappeared into the quiet of Gibraltar, before shadow stepping back into his and Jack’s bedroom.

The white haired soldier was still asleep. Gabriel smiled as he climbed into bed and wrapping an arm around his waist before drifting off.

_Take care of yourself, Amélie._

**Author's Note:**

> Je suis désolé, Amélie. Je n'ai rien pu faire pour toi - I'm sorry, Amélie. I could not protect you
> 
> Please let me know if there are any mistakes - English is not my first language.
> 
> Visit me on [Tumblr](http://www.sintharius.tumblr.com)!


End file.
